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There is a lot I want to write about, I know I can't get it all in one post.
Mary is dead now.
She died shortly after midnight, July 16th, 2008. She was forty-six years old.
On July 15th, 2008, my mother turned forty-seven years old.
My mind is still struggling with this fact.
I visiting Mary two hours before she died. She had been non-responsive since noon.
Everyone in the room had this tight, sad, warm little smile, myself included.
As I stood beside Mary's bed, my mind did not want to believe she was actually there, so close to dead (it was obvious she was close to death).
It kept telling me I was looking at an image on a computer screen, or television.
Goodbye Mary, and thank you. Thank you so very, very much, from the bottom of my heart.
I don't know when her funeral is going to be. I don't like the kind of things most people say at funerals. I think my favorite thing I've heard said was at a funeral was a quote by Kahlil Gibran. Ironically, said funeral was a fictional one on a TV show.
"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore, trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility." -Kahlil Gibran.
I've always thought funerals were far, far more for those who loved the deceased, than deceased herself.
The Stick Library Reopens
1 week ago
1 comment:
My dear Zander, I just want you to know that I am always very happy to read you. I KNOW that you will never be "just a flash in the pan", no matter what you do. I am really glad that you gave us this new opportunity to keep in touch with you, and to get you know you in a way that I could never have imagined before. This is what creativity is all about. Thanks. I'm sure you will think in another language soon - but you'll find that may be overrated - your thoughts (and especially your feelings) will be the same, no matter what the language you use to express them is.
I am really sorry about your friend Mary. And yes funerals are definitely much more about those who loved the deceased than the deceased him/herself, but that's ok - it's really hard to just focus on how much the deceased has enriched our lives, and wish them well for eternity, at first. At first you just miss them unbearably, and a funeral somehow helps to say goodbye, I find.
On a totally different note - I saw some photos of you as a baby, and then as a young child, with Keir as a baby playing with you. So adorable, both of you. There's a great one of you jumping into a mountain of dried leaves.
A big hug for now. I know it must be a very hard time for you, as you are saying goodbye to your friend Mary. I'll remember her in my prayers, too.
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