Soon

Yesterday was my last day of work. Holy hell, its hard to believe I've finished my first real job.

Let me say, it was a damn cushy job. Fun, easy, educational, unstressful, excellent management, awesome co-workers and good pay.

Yet I feel an immense relief that it is over. I immediately felt ten times better, like a huge load had been lifted. It amazes me how much I dislike working under someone else's schedule. I always feel strain when doing so. Even when I enjoy what I am doing, I want to do it on my schedule, or else I get... I don''t know the word... I guess one could say resentful, but thats not quite right. Nor is lethargic...but its like if I am doing it when someone says I should, instead of when I decide I should, then it is automatically less fun. It is like it takes it away from me. Something I have to do, instead of something I rise to do.

I am reminded of my studies of the Neoplatonists, where heterokinesis and homokinesis are discusses. To be heterokinetic is to have your soul moved by the events of the world, while homokinesis is to have your soul move itself. I thought for a while that it was this principle applying to me- I did not want to be heterokinetic.

Then I realized that is just a fancy way of saying "I want what I want when I want it, how I want it, or I don't really want it." Puts a whole other light on things, eh?

So here I sit. My first day of work. Damn I feel good. It also feels like I have finally and truely arived on Haida Gwaii. What a spaz that makes me. Not truly being here because I am working? Shite. And only a week left.

Well dear people, I wish you all a good night. Please have sweet, engaging dreams.
Cheers eternally,
Zander